Elizabeth had her Tower...Gold's has their Elliptical

Good afternoon!

Okay, two things that I seem to be doing quite a bit merged over the weekend. I've been reading Phillipa Gregory's "The Virgin's Lover" and I just started her book "The Other Queen." So I'm in the Elizabethan sort of place. Last night I informed the boy that if he didn't turn down his "sceamo" music I was going to send him to the Tower. (In my mind, I live in a palace...in the real world I live in a three bed ranch that has nothing even close to a second floor, much less a tower!)

So being in that space, I've been making a concerted effort to get to Gold's more than once a week. Last week I succeeded in getting my body to the gym twice. (Yay...) I hit the treadmill, I have a good idea of how to work most of the weight machines. But the one piece of equipment that is a mystery is the elliptical.

I have friends who have these. I've read about how they're supposed to be easier on the knees, something I'm always looking for since getting hit by a car. (Another story for another day...strangely enough, it's hilarious!)

The first time I mounted one of these puppies, I almost fell off. Did you know that those footie things move without turning anything on?

Everyone else at the gym seems to have the hang of the ellipticals. I see these people pumping away as if they will actually take flight if they just move more quickly.

The first two times I tried to use the elliptical, I was spent after three minutes. I mean, come on. I'm not in great shape, but three minutes? I was gasping for air and my legs were aflame.

On the third time, I pulled a total Mr. Bean and checked out the woman on the elliptical next to mine. (It creeped her out, I'm sure...because I'm a bit scary looking, much like Mr. Bean.) she was pedaling in a whole different direction than I had been.

That's when I realized I'd been going BACKWARDS.

Well, that bridge is now cinders, and I'm moving forward on the elliptical. Friday I was feeling so great about my progress, I got a little cocky and took a drink of water from my bottle.

Did you know those footie things keep moving even if you're trying to put your bottle in the cup holder?

I'm not going to say I fell off the elliptical. I am going to admit that getting your foot out from between the pedals is an act that is neither graceful nor subtle. It involves a little bit of cussing and a lot of stifled laughter.

Sort of makes sitting in the Tower waiting to be beheaded look like sissy stuff.