It starts as a documentary, and then turns into a rant. Enjoy!

Good afternoon!

So I've been sick the last several days.  I've had the kind of sickness where you can't sleep, eating is difficult, and you don't feel like moving in any direction at all.  Therefore, I spent the better part of the last three days on the couch.  And, since I was on the couch, I played in my Netflix account, looking for something fun to stream.

(As a side note...that last sentence is something my MOTHER would not have ever said.  In fact, I would have never uttered those words all in a row five years ago.  Ah progress!)

I love documentaries, and you can stream all kinds of wonders on Netflix.  Generally I dig through anything World War II, but this weekend I found something a bit different:  Meet The Fokkens.   The Fokken sisters, Louise and Martine, are identical twins who have been working the red light district in Amsterdam for the past 50 years. 

Let's read that again:  Those two sisters in that picture right there have been prostitutes for the better part of the last five decades.  Now one of them...and I'll be honest, I couldn't keep them straight because through the entire documentary they wore exactly the same clothes.  One had a little dog and one didn't, and that was the only difference.  Anyway, one of them is retired.  She has arthritis and wasn't able to bend as much as her clients wanted her to.  So...there's that.

The other one is STILL WORKING.  She sits in her little window and men come up to her and then she...well, she does what she does.  (And yes, there are some graphic moments of video and yes they are disturbing and no, you should not watch this with your children or your parents in the same city.)  And she says she has to keep doing it because her state pension isn't so good.

There's a state pension for prostitutes in Amsterdam?  They really are open over there, aren't they?

The retired one paints.  What does she paint?  Lovely water colors of rivers?

So, she paints pictures of genitalia.  Sometimes people are attached to them and sometimes not.  So...there's that.

Now the documentary is almost two hours long.  That's a lot of time to watch these two geriatric ladies have tea, walk that dippy little dog, and then one strips down to her underthings to spank old men while the other fills giant canvases with huge lady and man bits.

Okay, I'm an American and here these things are still shocking.  And maybe they should be.

Or maybe not.

There's a lot to be shocked about in this world.  War, genocide, rape, crimes committed against children, the cost of gas in the US when we are the #1 oil producing country in the world. (Another sentence I never thought I'd ever utter.)  Is it really shocking or disturbing, what these two ladies do?  Or is this just one of those pieces of real life where you look at it and you say, "Isn't that something?"

It's the same with writing.  I've read a lot of books and I'll read many more.  There isn't a genre I won't read, and if it's done well, I'll enjoy it.  I don't live in those books.  I don't live in that world.  Books give me an opportunity to look into another world for a bit and say, "Isn't that something?"

I read a very long article, and I forget the source, it was one of those things passed down on Face Book, that was basically chiding Amazon for making books so cheap.  Suddenly, the article was saying, books aren't special now that everyone can afford them.

That's not a quote, but it's darn close.

I'm sorry, what?

Are we back in the Dark Ages where the only people allowed to have books are the clergy?  (That didn't turn out so well, did it?)  We needed Gutenberg and his printing press to bring books, most famously the Bible, but books in general, to the masses.  Books are to be read.  They are to be read by EVERYONE.

Martha Merrill's Books...you can get all of mine there!

The article went on about Amazon's practices and what not...and no, I don't love seeing book stores closing.  But you know what?  Book stores, the big ones, are closing because people want to read and they don't want to have to pay a ton of money to read.  Did we learn NOTHING from "You've Got Mail?"  Ironic, I think, that the very pro Barnes and Noble author of the article was grousing about book prices on Amazon while B & N and others like it spent years pushing the indie book sellers out the door. Now the indie book sellers are hanging on and the internet is selling more books by more authors for way less money.  And indie authors, like me, are getting their books into indie book stores like Martha Merrill's in Waukesha.

If people cannot afford print books...and with print costs rises almost as fast as gas, they can't...they will not read books.  New stories, not only by indie authors, but by big names, will not sell.  Stephen King was, many years ago, on the cusp of the e-book generation.  J. A. Konrath is a prophet for e-book publishing.  The goal of any author is to get the story in people's hands.  Above all, we want to be read!  We don't just want to be read by people who can afford a $34 hardcover book.  We want to be read by EVERYONE.  

Don't have a Kindle or a Nook or an e-reader?  Don't need one!  Want to read tons of indie books  for $2.99 or less?  (many are free!)  Check out websites like Smashwords.com.  There you can download a book to your computer and read it there.  Not the most comfortable way to read it, but once you've paid for it, you can print it out and poof!  You have the file on your computer and you can still read it in the tub!  All for less than the cost of a cup of coffee at a gas station.

Is everything out there awesome and great and life affirming?  Much like Netflix documentaries, NO.  Some of those books are not great.  Everything is a crap shoot, whether you're going to a movie, buying a CD, or reading a book.  You might like it.  You might not.  At least, with online publishing, you're rarely out more than $2.99.  The upside is you can get in on the ground floor of an author learning his or her craft.  Isn't is super cool when we can say, "Well, I've been reading that author since her first book came out, and I've always known she was awesome."

Friends, there are links on this page to every single one of my books and right now, not a one of them is going to cost you more than $1.99.  I believe every one has the right to read a book and every story, no matter how disturbing I might find it, has every right to be read.

Now, go forth and buy my books...and then go read a bunch and then go forth and WRITE!

My top ten most influential books.

Good morning!

Something making its way around Face book lately has been a top ten list of most influential books in a person's life.  I was going to get a list together, but then I decided it would make a nice year end blog post for you all, especially since I haven't done a top ten list in a while.

I'm giving you my top ten list with a couple caveats:  First, I'm leaving the Bible off the list.  For me, it's THE most influential book, but my list, for the purposes of this blog, is about human authors, not deities.  Second, I'm not putting my books on the list because...well, that's sort of cheesy.  (However, if you'd like to purchase one of my books all you have to do is click on the following links:)

Novels under Sarah J. Bradley for electronic media other than the Kindle:

Novels under Sarah J. Bradley for Kindle or in print:

Elsie Books under Sarah Jayne Brewster for kindle or in Print:

Elsie Books under Sarah Jayne Brewster for electronic media other than Kindle:


Okay, that's out of the way.  Now...the top ten books that influenced me through my life.

10) Stephen King:  On Writing

I'm not a fan of horror, but I am a fan of Stephen King's, especially after reading this.  One part autobiography, one part how to for the aspiring novelist, it's a winner and I keep it close.

9) C. D. Payne: Youth in Revolt

Don't let the awful movie by the same name fool you.  This book is heartbreakingly good.  A big reason it's on the list is a few years ago my son told me to read it.  He'd never told me to read a book before.  He thought the book was hilarious.  I thought it was shattering and sad.  And I realized that a book can be completely different things to different people.

8) Laura Ingalls Wilder:  Little House on the Prairie

In the days before "YA" was a category in the library, there were pioneering authors  (pardon the pun) bridging the gap between children's picture books and adult novels.  Wilder was one of them.  Still the gold standard of writing, I remember, as I read these books in third and fourth grade, thinking:  I can do THAT.  I can write about stuff in my life.  Which is probably why I begged for red covered notebooks every Christmas for years.  I thought it was the key to literary success.

7) Joan Aiken:  Wolves of Willoughby Chase

While all my girl friends were reading Laura Ingalls' books, I was entertaining my youthful dark side by reading and rereading Joan Aiken's wonderful, dark, children's books.  "Wolves" is the first of three I read on a monthly basis:  Blackhearts in Battersea and Nightbirds on Nantucket were the other two.  As a child who saw adults as villains all the time, I found a kindred soul in Aiken's heroic children characters' battles.  As an adult author, I look to the unexpected for my villains, thanks to Joan Aiken.

6)  Charlotte Bronte:  Jane Eyre

Many of my books are the study in the dark side of people, how we try to hide behind a pretty facade.  I blame my mother for this because when I was in 8th grade she was my school librarian and she suggested we all read Jane Eyre.  She painted a wonderful, dark picture of romance entwined in mystery and insanity.  I was hooked from the first reading, although I didn't completely understand the full content of the book until much later.

5)  Adrianna Trigiani:  Big Stone Gap


Think of her as a modern day Laura Ingalls Wilder.  Her Big Stone Gap books reopened my eyes to the ideal of "writing what you know."  I realized regular people can be interesting in books and, bigger bonus, overweight girls can have a fun life and a dash of romance.  Since reading Big Stone Gap, I've read everything she's written and enjoyed every minute. Her work reminds me that it's okay to have a normal, mundane setting. Knowing your characters and how they live in their every day settings can build a very compelling story.


4)  Thomas Hardy:  Jude the Obscure

Jude enjoys the rare distinction of being the only book on the list I was assigned to read as part of one of my million English classes in school.  The book itself is what I deem a dark comedy, which is exactly what I said in class when I announced I'd nearly finished reading the book far ahead of the assigned date.  My professor, a dear man I adored, asked me what I thought of it.  I said, "It's HILARIOUS!"  He looked shocked.  "What is wrong with you?  How can you find this funny?"  Maybe it wasn't so much the book itself, but my reaction to it that put this book on the list.  I realized that day that I find humor in the strangest places, in places many don't.  To my professor's credit, the end of the book is shattering.  But I maintain, until the very last page, Jude is one of the most entertaining dark comedic characters I've ever read.

3)  Judy Blume:  Blubber

I could fill this list with Judy Blume's works, but I'm pretty sure Blubber was the first book I read by her.  Judy Blume was to me, as she was to almost every girl growing up, the "go to" for advice on how to handle every situation.  As an author she did not shy away from the difficult topics.  Blubber, dealing with bullying in the days before bullying was a hot button political topic, is the magna carta of the topic still today.  Having been on both ends of the bullying stick by the time I was in 5th grade, I knew the pain of it all too well, and Judy Blume's book was a reprimand and a comfort at once.  Later, I delved in her books about getting a period, teen sex, scoliosis, and divorce. Every parent with a child needs to read Blume aloud to their kids.

2)  Emily Bronte:  Wuthering Heights

It's not a top ten book list without Emily Bronte's gothic novel.  Say what you want, every single woman dreams of fixing the bad boy and let's face it...there just wasn't anyone more of a bad boy than Heathcliff.  I read it every year starting in eighth grade and until I got married and got busy with kids and whatnot.  Now, I still love to escape to the bleak, windy swept moors.  It's the atmosphere of the book that is most haunting, and is probably the best part of the book.  The setting is every bit as much a character in the book as Catherine or Heathcliff.  And it's something I strive for when I'm writing my own fiction.

1)  Erma Bombeck:  anything

Erma Bombeck is my sensei.  When I was eleven, I would run home from school so I could get the newspaper and read her daily column.  I knew from a young age that I wanted to BE Erma Bombeck.  I wept the day she passed.  I read her books all the time, marveling at how she managed to make the every day hilarious, and hoping I can, in some very small way, do her honor by writing something people can laugh at.


There are so many other authors and books I'd love to put on this list.  One I wrestled with was Beverly Cleary, who was every bit as much a part of my childhood reading as Joan Aiken and Judy Blume.   Beverly gave me Ramona Quimby, who remains to this day sort of my alter ego.

Finally, friends, I want to share with you a quote from Erma Bombeck, because it's fitting and, as writers, I think we all need to keep this in mind:

Literary drinks for the drinking writer.

Good afternoon!

My friends at Online Education Database must have been reading my mind when they came up with this list of "25 Brilliant Literary Inspired Drinks."

It's no secret that many of the great authors of the past had some sort of addiction.  It's something my writer friends and I bring up at conferences as we are hoisting our second...fifth...glass of wine/martini/shot of something.  I'm not sure if writers write to escape their demon addictions or if they are addicted to different substances because writing, as a profession, can and will make you insane, if you aren't already sort of there.

I'm not one to follow in the path of Edgar Allen Poe, father of the modern short story...and horror in generalhen it comes to opium and that sort of thing...but I do like this list, and yes, I will feel ever so much more smarter when I order these at my next writer's conference.

Enjoy!

25 Brilliant & Literary-Inspired Mixed Drinks
Plenty of authors throughout history have drawn inspiration (or consolation, as it may be) from a bottle, and as such, there is no shortage of cocktails, concoctions, and libations that can be related to great books and their authors. Whether you're hosting a literary-themed party or just want to drink like your favorite author while you read one of his or her works, you certainly won't thirst for options (pun very much intended) when you read through this list of literary-inspired mixed-drinks. You'll find an assortment of titular puns, tributes to authors, and even a few favorites drawn from the lives of famous authors themselves to help you find the perfect bibliophile beverage.

1. The Sir Walter Scott

   Historical novelist, playwright, and poet Sir Walter Scott was a Scottish patriot through and through, so we're not quite sure what this Hennessy-based (a French cognac) drink has to do with him. But it sure does sound good, mixing cognac, rum, triple sec, grenadine, and lime juice.

2. The Longfellow

   The American poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is commemorated in this fresh and fruity drink, which blends tequila, cucumber, cilantro, and pineapple juice, a delicious mixture that is no divine tragedy.

3. The Gryffindor

   Potter fans (at least those over 21) can indulge their booze tooth in this elaborate, color-themed cocktail. This very fruity drink is composed of cranberry juice and orange juice with just a dash of raspberry liqueur, topped with a cherry and a twist of orange peel.

4. The Catcher in the Rye

   Break out the rye whiskey to put together this Salinger-themed drink that blends a solid whiskey with sherry, Grand Marnier, Torani Amer, and bitters. For a twist on the recipe, use vanilla-infused Angostura instead of the bitters.

5. Bearded Mojito

   It's no secret that Ernest Hemingway enjoyed a good drink (or two or 10), even succumbing to alcoholism in his later years. Papa's poison of choice was the mojito (though whiskey would also do), a recipe for which you can easily copy at home.

6. Faulkner's Mint Julep

   Calling this a cocktail is a bit of a stretch, but apparently William Faulkner liked his drinks pretty darn stiff (he once said, "I usually write at night. I always keep my whiskey within reach"). His recipe for a mint julep is just whiskey, ice, a teaspoon of sugar, and mint. Simple, but likely very effective in building up quite a buzz.

7. Gin Fitzey

   The favorite drink of author and noted booze connoisseur F. Scott Fitzgerald is the Gin Rickey (which Fitzgerald apparently liked because he believed gin couldn't be smelled on his breath ... yeah right), which we prefer to call by the much more endearing name of the Gin Fitzey. To make it, you'll need gin, lime juice, club soda, and lime wedges. If that's not your style, you can also try to whip up a Great Gatsby.

8. McCullers' Long Island

   Inspired by Carson McCullers' favorite drink, a concoction of tea and sherry that she drank throughout the day (often claiming it was only tea), this notoriously strong drink, when made right also gives the impression that it's just a simple, non-offensive tea. That is, until you wind up under the table. It blends no less than five different types of alcohol to pack a potent punch.

9. Chandler's Gimlet

   One of the best-known stories about Raymond Chandler relates to his writing of the movie The Blue Dahlia, in which he purposely relapsed into alcoholism in order to break through his terrible writer's block and finish the script. You can drink to his insane dedication to writing (or his intense desire for a drink) by whipping up one of his favorites, the Gimlet.

10. Pisco Sour

    Can't get enough of Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's? Take inspiration from the book, and Holly Golightly's epic parties, to mix up this drink, made of pisco, lemon juice, sugar, egg white, and bitters.

11. Smoking Bishop

    At the end of A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge declares, "We will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Bob!" So what the heck is smoking bishop? It's a type of hot, spiced wine, perfect for winter reading. Follow Charles Dickens' recipe to get it just right.

12. The Tristram Shandy

    This punny name combines the classic shandy, made of beer and lemonade (or a citrusy soda), with the classic novel by Laurence Sterne. It might just inspire you to pen a tale, though hopefully a less long-winded one, about your own life story.

13. Margarita Atwood

    We're not sure if author Margaret Atwood enjoys the occasional margarita, but it doesn't matter when her name fits so perfectly into this drink name. While the recipe we've linked takes a humorous view of a Margarita Atwood, you can find a more serious recipe here.

14. Turn of the Screwdriver

    In Henry James' novella, Turn of the Screw, a young governess is tortured by seemingly supernatural figures, though the exact meaning and nature of her visions is never explained by the book. Whatever the case, this take on the classic screwdriver will help you to stave off any nightmares you might have after reading this (possible) ghost story.

15. Bloody Stephen

    Many of Stephen King's novels are filled with bloody scenes, including, most notably, The Shining and Carrie, so it's only natural that a King-inspired drink would be blood red. Follow this very simple recipe from The New Yorker to enjoy a spooky evening at home.

16. Stinging Rabbit

    John Updike's character Rabbit had a passion for Stingers, and you just might develop one too after making one at home. The recipe is incredibly simple, calling only for vodka and creme de menthe.

17. Wilde About Absinthe

    Oscar Wilde wasn't shy about his enjoyment of this oft-maligned drink, once saying, "The first stage is like ordinary drinking, the second when you begin to see monstrous and cruel things, but if you can persevere you will enter in upon the third stage where you see things that you want to see, wonderful curious things." Absinthe has only recently become legal in the US, so now even Americans can enjoy a delicious cocktail like these from Epicurious.

18. Bukowski Boilermaker

    Crude, rough-edged, and more often than not on a bender, Charles Bukowski more than likely wasn't an easy person to know, but he is an easy person to imitate when it comes to boozing it up. His favorite drink was a Boilermaker, which is quite simply a lager beer and a short of whiskey, either mixed in the glass or after putting both down the hatch.

19. Sextontini

    Anne Sexton had an unabashed love of a good martini, and the famous drink even made it into her personal letters more than a few times as you can see from the link here. So, get a high-quality gin (no vodka, that's cocktail sacrilege), some extra dry vermouth, and some olives to make yourself a Sexton-worthy martini.

20. Whiskey and Whiskey

    Dylan Thomas met his untimely demise at the bottom of a glass of whiskey, or more accurately, at the bottom of 18 glasses of whiskey. While it is perhaps uncouth to make light of this uncontrolled alcoholism, think of this drink, whiskey on the rocks with a shot of whiskey on the side, as paying tribute to the author instead.

21. Dorothy Parker Sour

    Despite being an alcoholic, Dorothy Parker managed to have a pretty darn successful writing career, and one of her favorite drinks (sometimes even serving as her breakfast) was the whiskey sour. If you'd like to sample the iconic drink, combine whiskey, lemon juice, and sugar, serving with a lemon wedge and a cherry.

22. Tennessee Fizz

    Tennessee Williams is one of America's best known and most celebrated playwrights, and he also enjoyed a good drink now and again. His drink of choice was a Ramos Fizz, a blend of dry gin, heavy cream, egg white, lemon juice, lime juice, sugar, and orange flower water.

23. Gibson O'Neill

    Nobel Laureate Eugene O'Neill was no slouch when it came to writing nor when it came to drinking. He was known to head to the Garden Hotel in New York to get one of these classic cocktails, a blend of gin, dry vermouth, and cocktail onions, which O'Neill often spruced up with a splash of club soda.

24. Old Fashioned Anderson

    Sherwood Anderson's writing influenced such big names as Hemingway, Faulkner, and Fitzgerald, and his propensity for drink may have been passed down as well. Anderson favored the Old Fashioned, a blend of whiskey, club soda, bitters, and sugar.

25. Hangman's Blood

    This cocktail has several literary ties, first being described in Richard Hughes' novel A High Wind in Jamaica as a blend of rum, gin, brandy, and port that "has the property of increasing rather than allaying thirst, and so once it has made a breach, soon demolishes the whole fort." It would eventually become a favorite of novelist Anthony Burgess, who added in a few more types of alcohol for good measure (whiskey, stout, and champagne) to create a brew that would certainly give anyone enough liquid courage to be a hangman.