Merry Christmas...Take care of yourselves...and each other.

Good morning and Merry Christmas!

As I look back on 2013, I see a lot of bad things both in my personal life and across the world.  We've had anger, illness, frustration, and staggering bills here.  Across the globe there's been political strife, war, disease, poverty, hunger, violence, betrayal, murder, cheating, religious conflicts, and verbal wars on Facebook.

But I see good things that happened this year, too.  In my own world, I see a family on the mend.  We're fragile, but we are good to each other now, we are gentler, kinder.  Across the globe I see random acts of kindness and beauty.  I see moments where people have managed to put aside their differences and do right be each other in time of need or despair.

Friends, as you know, I celebrate Christmas.  But as you also know, as I've said before, if you celebrate something other than Christmas, I wish you the very best of your holiday season.  I wish you peace, joy, and prosperity in your lives today, tomorrow, and always.

Thanks to social media, I've "met" some wonderful people I probably would never have come across in my daily life here in suburban Wisconsin.  I've made friends I cherish, though I will probably never see their faces in person. But social media is a mixed blessing, and I think we can all agree on that.  I've lost friends, old and new, because in the social media world, it's apparently okay to scream at each other for expressing a belief or an opinion, and the screaming doesn't stop until it escalates to the point of no return.

When I was a child and my brother and I fought  (which was very often) my mother would make us stand in front of each other and recite Ephesians 4:32  (I learned it in the King James Version) 

³² And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Maybe I like this version a bit better.  This is the Phillips translation and I've included verse 31:

^31-32 Let there be no more resentment, no more anger or temper, no more violent self-assertiveness, no more slander and no more malicious remarks, Be kind to each other, be understanding. Be as ready to forgive others as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.

In my reading over the years, I've noted that the major religions of the world all have a similar command.  Be good to each other.  Love your neighbor.  Help those in need.  Be kind.  Be loving.

 We don't all agree on everything.  Recently, Facebook went insane because some TV personality said something a lot of people didn't like.  Well, whether I agree with the person, or with those on Facebook, it doesn't matter, and it shouldn't matter because what I believe, what I think, what my opinion is should not affect how I treat those around me. 

Many people point to the Bible, or to the writings of their own religions as a basis to express something others find offensive, and so begins the war of words.  My father lost a good friend recently of more than 50 years because they could not come to terms on their differences of opinion about politics.  They agreed for most of their lives on religion, culture, food, family, all of that.  But in one moment of political upheaval here in Wisconsin, they found themselves on opposite sides of the question and my father's friend simply refused to allow for my father's different opinion.  And so ended lifetime of friendship. 

Friends, it's Christmas.  It should be a season of giving, of sharing, of being kind to each other.  So instead of focusing on what divides us, let me share this with you from John 13(NIV)

³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

^{I realize we will never all agree on politics, religion, or other things that divide us.  Racism, sexism, bullying, those are evils that are going to remain no matter how hard we fight.  It's a sinful, imperfect world and there are going to sinful and imperfect things here that anger us.  But those things do not have to divide us so completely we lose each other.  Words are just words.  Someone uses one, someone else finds it offensive.  Maybe someone, someone we've never met in person says something we don't agree with, but someone we know does agree with that person.  In the end, words mean nothing.  Politicians mean nothing, because all they are is words.  Actors, celebrities, they mean nothing because they are just words.  We will never erase words from our world, but we can add actions to the mix and make this place a better place for everyone.}

^{So in this season of giving, let's give each other a break.  In this season of love, let's love each other.  In this season of peace...let's be peaceful with each other.  Let's overlook each other's differences and stop the online shrieking long enough to take a breath and say, "How can I be kind to someone today? How can I be a flicker of hope in this dark world?"}

Today I wish you all a very merry Christmas, and when I say that I'm not saying it to belittle anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas.  I'm saying it because it's the best way I know how to say, "I wish you well this holiday season," without getting too wordy.  (I find saying more than a few words to strangers as I'm passing them on the street freaks them out a bit.)  I wish you all the joy in the world. And if I say "Happy Holidays,"  I'm not turning my back on Christmas, I'm just saying I understand there are many who celebrate many things this time of year. 

There will come a day when we won't have to explain ourselves like this.  There will be a time when we can speak and understand each other and realize we really don't mean each other harm, we just use different words.  In the meantime, and I never thought I'd be quoting Jerry Springer of all people, "Take care of yourselves...and each other."

An open Christmas letter from me to you.

Good morning!

Merry Christmas everyone!

I realize it's not chic in this country to wish people a Merry Christmas.  I mean, there's been this cultural battle about how we should greet each other this time of year.  What I've seen is that after all the yelling and screaming at each other about "Merry Christmas"  or "Happy Holidays" we've wound up just grunting at each other, acknowledging each other with the bare minimum of effort.  Sort of like every other time of the year.

I have been pretty busy lately, and haven't blogged much, but I thought I'd write to you, my friends, in the form of a typical American Christmas letter:  Except this isn't going to be painful to read.

 So here we go:

My Dear Friends:

This has been a tough year for many people, and that's pretty true for me as well.  My little family spent far too much time this year waiting in emergency rooms, talking to doctors, buying prescriptions for multiple medical issues we never saw coming.  It was sort of a mash in the head, starting on Easter night.  When I look back on 2013, I'll think of it as the "year of the medical bills."

Had the year ended on March 31, I would deem this year a failure, a dark, black hole.  But the year didn't end, thankfully, and there were moments of great hope and beauty along the way.

On a professional front, I got my rights back for Dream in Color and I created not one but two new covers for the book.  I also released my two Elsie W. Books 

"Elsie W.:  Unsafe at Any Speed.""Elsie W.:  Not While I'm Chewing"

And I'm currently working on a third book for my "Wicked Women" series, a book I hope to have released by Valentine's Day.

 

 

I think my favorite day this year was a very hot day in July when the four of us went to our church to have our picture taken for the new church directory.  The four of us did not want to be in the stifling hot classroom at nine at night. None of us likes getting our picture taken and let's face facts:  I haven't improved my photogenic features in the ten years since the last church directory.

But there the four of us were, the last photo session of the night for the photographer.  It had been a very tense time in our house since Easter Sunday night and frankly, we were a very fragile bunch.  But something happened during that session:  The four of us laughed together for the first time in a very long time.

We sat in that hot, miserable room, all of us looking really, really awful for different reasons.  (I personally picked a shirt that simply doesn't look good on me.  It's too light for my fair skin.  Normally I wear it under a sweater, but like I said, it was July.)  But there was something that was so funny about the photographer, what we were doing , and everything, it was like a dam broke and all the tension that had hung over us broke and we laughed together and healed.

I keep this picture on the fridge.  I love remembering that day because it was so special. Some time ago I realized I like the way I look because I look like a blond version of my aunt Carol, who is a beautiful soul and if I turn out to be like her I will be a success in my life.

Now here we are, and it's Christmas.  There's trouble in every corner of the
world.  And yet, I can't help but feel optimistic.  Maybe the world leaders will continue to screw up on a monumental basis, but if we here in the real world can shut out the shrieking, shut out the anger, and reach out to each other, we are going to be okay.

So whether you celebrate Christmas or not, let's all take a minute and see the beauty of things, even in the smallest things.  Leave an extra five dollars as a tip for your waitress.  Hold the door open for a string of people at the post office.  Give your mother a hug even if she makes you insane every day of your life.  Don't give the biggest or shiniest gift, give the one that speaks from your heart.  Hum or whistle a happy song.


Friends, I celebrate Christmas, the birth of Christ.  My basis of my faith is hope.  In my writing, I bring to life characters who are very flawed, but have hope.  If I take nothing away from 2013, which started out so very, very wrong, I can take this:  Hope is never lost where there is kindness, love, peace and laughter.

So, where ever you are, whatever you are doing right now, I want to wish you a heartfelt Merry Christmas...and my hope is that we are all just better to each other in 2014!