If you haven't shopped yet, don't do it by mail!

Good afternoon!

The holiday season never ceases to amaze me. It seems like people simply forget that it's coming. I've worked in the internet retail business now for three Christmases and this year I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry or just start drinking.

I love shopping online and through catalogs. I do 90% of my holiday shopping that way. But I know there's a cut off line in December past which you simply cannot expect a gift to arrive on time. I always stop shopping online about December 14. I stop ordering things from further away than the central part of the US by December 11. And I've never had a problem.

Yet today, December 21, I'm staring at a full in box of emails and an even fuller in box of SNAIL MAIL for orders that simply MUST< MUST< MUST be delivered by 12-25 or sooner.

Okay kiddies, here's a tip: If you're in need of a gift for Christmas, DON'T ORDER IT BY MAIL ON DECEMBER 21! It ain' gonna happen and all you're doing is causing great stress for order processor who then has to call you...if you put a phone number on your order sheet, and tell you you ain't getting what you ordered.

There, got that off my chest:

Oh, and another thing: I realize that a lot of folks are trying to save time and gas by calling stores to find out the availability of items. But seriously, the phone never rings here...until the week before Christmas when desparate grandmas decide it's time to get on the stick and buy the kiddies something. DECEMBER 21 IS NOT THE TIME TO START SHOPPING FOR THE HOT TOY OF THE SEASON!

Don't ask me about Zhu Zhu puts, the Crayola Crayon maker, or anything else Good Morning America said was the hottest toy of the season. We don't carry those...and won't, probably until two years from now when it's longer hot and we can pick the items up for cheap. We are an OUTLET. You've never, ever called us before...you're just blindly dialing numbers. I'm happy to help, I am, but try and keep in mind who you call so that you don't call us THREE TIMES IN AN HOUR. If we didn't have it at noon, we aren't going to suddenly have one at noon thirty. We have caller ID. We are trying very hard not to make fun of you.

Also, if you shop ebay, that's great. and if you live close to Wisconsin, chances are, we MIGHT be able to get something to you yet this week. But don't be a cheapskate. Admit that you waited too darn long and cough up some express shipping fees. Otherwise we will ship it priority mail and it's gonna get there when it's gonna get there and no amount of begging on your part will make it get there faster. Money talks. Pay express or get in the car and shop yourself.

That all said, I wish a merry, merry Christmas to all! I celebrate Christmas, but if you celebrate something else, that's fine, enjoy. Just don't crap on me because I celebrate Christmas.

I need some egg nog and a nap!

Merry Christmas all!