JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS! Unsafe at Any Speed is finally here!

Good morning all! 

Well, after many fits and starts, and one major melding project, "Elsie W.;  Unsafe at Any Speed" is FINALLY available for purchase!

TA DAH!

 

Now, I know you all want to get in on this so here are the links:

FOR THE KINDLE CLICK HERE!

FOR A PRINT BOOK CLICK HERE!

FOR EVERY OTHER ELECTRONIC DEVICE CLICK HERE!

I'm really proud of this one, and I'm pretty sure this is a good one for you to give to that friend of yours who is stuck working with a horrible co-worker!  If you liked "The Office" and "Office Space"  you are going to LOVE Elsie W.!

ENJOY!

Time to share!

Good afternoon!

This is a general invitation to all you authors, writers, poets, readers, and people who like to express your opinion.

I'm opening this blog up to you!

While I'm busy trying to crank out the second and third Elsie books AND a new novel before next June 1  (yeah, I said that)  I want to give you all a chance to share some opinions, news, ideas, and questions in this blog.

Are you an author who has a new book out?

Are you a writer who wants to open a discussion about e-pub versus traditional publishing?

Are you a poet who'd like to serenade us with something pretty?

Are you a reader who has yet to find the book that perfectly speaks to you?


Contact me!

You can reach me at momauthor@aol.com 

You can also message me on Face Book by clicking HERE!

I can't wait to hear from you all! 

Meanwhile, if you're a reader in search of something romantic, check out my novels:  CLICK HERE!


Hate your job?  Want to read about someone who hates hers more?  CLICK HERE!

Where there's cover art, can a new book be too far behind????

Good evening!

So in the past few months I've been working on creating my own cover art.  While I'll never reach the perfection I had when working with Nicola Martinez on my first two books  (both covers of which I've had to change recently)  I am pretty excited about how some of this is working out for me.  I'm learning a lot by simply trial and error.  Mostly a lot of error.

But recently I finished the cover for my first Elsie W. book, a book I really hope to release yet this month. 

Ladies and gents, I give you:

Don't let the size of this picture fool you...this book is going to be HUGE!  Tee Hee!

Okay, the size of the thing is...wee.  I'll give you that.  But it looks FANTASTIC on Face book.  (Are you following my author page yet?  Click here!)  And I'm sure it will look just as good on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and all that once I send it out into the world.

You'll note I'm working under a bit of a different name.  I didn't want to lose my first name,  because this book is a direct descendant of my It can Only Happen to Sarah! blog and I don't want to lose that connection.  Also, I have a plan, it's a big plan and part of that plan involves me spending WAY less time working for someone else and way MORE time writing the stories I love to write.  But somewhere, somewhere way down the road, I can see the initials SJB being a cornerstone to several lines of books. 

I'm so excited about this new direction.  Don't get me wrong, I have romance novels in my head...all kinds of great heroes and lady loves and whatnot.  But telling funny stories about my completely boring life and making people laugh is so important to me...and I can't wait to share it with you all!

Would I be a coward for using a pen name?

Good morning!

So I'm working away at the Elsie W. books and my mother, who always gives me such clear minded advice when it comes to my writing, suggested I use a pen name just to protect myself from lawsuits.

I've scrubbed the manuscript free of any actual location names, any real person's name, or any name of any real company.  The only real things in the book are the actions and my name.  And since my name, Sarah, is sort of forever tied to my blog, It Can Only Happen To Sarah!, I'm thinking I can't very well change my first name on the cover of the book.

But the use of a pen name has always intrigued me.  When I started writing, back at the dawn of time, I thought all authors used a pen name, so I created mine.  It was, shall we say, exactly what a thirteen year old girl who was clueless about everything would think a cool pen name should be.  (I won't say it here....you never know I may want to use it some day!)

Since I've been writing seriously now for a few years, I realized that many authors use their own names, and some don't, for a myriad of reasons.  I know if I ever did delve into the world of the erotic, I would have to change my name just because my mother wouldn't be able to show her face at church.  (And I wouldn't either, for that matter...oh, and how creepy would it be if someone from my church did show up at a book signing for my mythical erotic book...and then realized I teach her kids in Sunday school?  Who would be more creeped out?  It's one of those circular arguments I tend to start with myself.)  But I've never released a book that isn't fiction.

Just a rough look at an idea I had for the title...
and the pen name.

Believe me, the Elsie W. books are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  Except I don't use anyone's real first name...except mine, and I don't give out specific locations.

So would writing under a name that's not mine be a smart thing to do?  Am I hiding my real self from critics, or is it a good marketing tool, to separate the creative nonfiction/humor side of my work from the fiction side?

Would using a pen name for something that's real be a cowardly move?  Should I stamp my name on my real name on my books and weather whatever storms may gather?

I'd love to hear your comments!

A lousy day reminds me why I bother writing.

Good evening.

I had a really, really lousy day at work.  The woman I've been blogging about over at It can Only Happen to Sarah finally broke my spirit.  Here's how it went:

Last night she lost the key to the office. This is a big deal since 1) Only four of us have a key for the office  2)  she's the one who closes up at night and 3)  No one else lives close to the office, except for one of the managers who had to have facial surgery early this morning to fix his broken nose.

From about 7 Pm until about 10Pm last night, she then contacted, harrassed, annoyed, shouted at, and was snippy to pretty much everyone in the company, including the landlord, who told her, no, he was NOT going to drive 35 miles back to the office to lock a door for her when it was her responsibility to lock the darn thing.  That's when she insulted the landlord...who came over this morning and barked in my general direction.

My boss was not amused.  The minute she showed up late for work  (she's late every single day of her life...and that's just the tip of the iceburg with her) he hauled her into his office and for 78 minutes they shouted at each other. 

I work in a showroom.  Customers come in to look at our wares.  The walls aren' t that thick.

This is not the first time they've had this sort of throw down.  Every couple of months he has to haul her in to his office for a shouting match.  And every single time they walk out all smiles, all but singing "Kum by ya."  Those of is in the office this morning, however, thought for sure would be the end of her sloppy, messy, embarrassing reign of terror she wreaks over the office.

Not so.

Again they emerged, and this time it really sounded like she'd managed to some how make him believe HE was the one who was wrong.

As Forrest Gump once said, "Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks."

The rest of the day I spent avoiding both of them, which is hard since I sit at the front desk right between their two offices.  All I could think about was one thing:  All I want to do is go home and write my book.

When I tell people I write, and I know you face this too, you will some vague nods, some feigned interest, perhaps a mocking question or two.  Writing is one of those things no one really understands.  It's not cross stitch.  It's not jogging.  There may never be an end result that anyone can see. (want to see the end result of my work?  click here )


What I'm saying is...does anyone ever ask us why?  Why do we write?  Because if they did, I'm sure I can speak for many of us when I say, "We write to escape.  We write because we have something to say, a story to tell.  We write because we want our name to be remembered in some small way.  We write because we daydream in bright colors and want to share that with others."

It's my happy place.

Today I write to escape.  I'm writing about a former figure skater and a former hockey player because they aren't my boss and the idiot I work with.  I'm writing a story set in Nashville because I once spent the very best Valentine's Day weekend there and frankly, Wisconsin in March bites.  I'm writing much of the story set in a Waffle House because my house is a mess, half my family is vegetarian, my oldest doesnt' talk to me much, and I really, really, really want a piece of bacon brought to me by a happy woman named Tina.

Today I write because it gives me a reason to drink wine on a Thursday night.

Today I write because being in my own skin is not a great place to be, and I want very much to be someone, somewhere else.

Some might wonder why I bother.  It's not like my job won't stink again tomorrow.  The book I'm working on, maybe ten people will read it, and that will be after I've worked, toiled, and promoted myself to death.  Why bother?

For me, it might what keeps me moving forward each day, it might be the thing that gets me out of bed.

Why are you writing?  I'd love to hear about it.

Readers, I need your help!

Good morning!

I've decided that the next work I'll be publishing is a collection of short essays/stories about my work place life, especially concerning with the woman I share space with.  (She is quite hilarious!)   If you haven't been following along with that saga, flip on over to my humor blog It Can Only Happen To Sarah! and catch up.

Anyway, my friends, I need your help!  I am terrible at titling my books.  My most recent release Lies in Chance, has an alternate title.  (Which I may change it to if people don't start buying the book!)  Dream in Color the title of a  Rick Springfield song that inspired the book.  So finding a title for a book is almost harder than writing the book!

I've posted it on Facebook, and I've posted it on my humor blog, and now I'm posting it here.  I am having a contest for the best title of this new work.  Send me all your ideas.  I will pick the five I like best and post them for voting NEXT WEEKS on my Laundry List Friday post over at It Can Only Happen to Sarah!

The author of the winning title will receive free copies of all my published works.  (Having an e-reader of some sort or a computer is pretty much a must!)

Thank you and GOOD LUCK!

Discovering the talents others see in you.

Good morning!

I reread yesterday's blog...rant...and realized that when I write angry, it might be fun, but I do tend to drift a little from the purpose of my writing.  Hopefully I get back on track today!

When I was fourteen I set out to write the Great American Novel.  I had images of Pulitzers, Nobels, National Book Awards and, yes, Newberry medals.  All for the same novel.  I envisioned long lines at book signings, my picture on a book jacket, people stopping me in restaurants asking for my autograph.  Of course I saw my magnificent novel at the top of the New York Times best seller list.

Heady stuff for a fourteen year old living in central Wisconsin in the 80's. 

That novel that I set out to write almost 30 years ago is the one I currently call Lies in Chance, and it's gone through rounds and rounds of rejections.  I wear those rejections as a badge of honor, as every writer should.  It means we're working.  My first novel, Dream in Color, is my pride and joy, of course, and I love my work with The Wild Rose Press.  But it's a little book from a little press and I've had to do much of the legwork.  I've done book signings, and will continue to do more, but there aren't long lines.  There are customers looking for Nora Roberts' latest who stop by my table because I have candy.  I love meeting new people so I'm not complaining.

Meanwhile, I'm avoiding the fact that novel #3 simply isn't working well for me.  What I saw so clearly a year ago is now muddied, and my characters aren't all that interesting yet.  Yet, I know I can write a good story.  I've done it.  Twice.  One is published, one will be, and the third one will get written if it kills me.  I love the challenge of writing fiction.  It's hard work, but it's work that I love doing because not that many people do it, and even fewer admit to doing it.  So I bang away at fiction, praying my dreams of grandeur will still come true.

And then there's the writing I do for the absolute joy of it all.  I have another blog, a fun blog, It Can Only Happen To Sarah.  This is where I write my musings about real life, about the way I see things in my little world, and about things that happen to me that could only happen to little old me.

I crank those tales out several times a month.  It's fun, it's easy, and it makes me happy.  But do I think of it as a talent?

Not a chance.

I've been writing that sort of stuff for ages.  I think it started when I was 13 and I started keeping a diary...some of the entries, as I look back, are full of teen drama and angst, perfect for a novelist.  Others are simply the viewpoint of a goofy kid who sees things just a little differently than everyone else and isn't afraid to discuss it.  I don't think of it as a talent, I simply think of it as stuff I say to fill the quiet spaces in my day.

My mother was the first person to tell me that that's how I should write.  I've long been a fan of the late great Erma Bombeck, and my mother has said since I was young that my best writing is this slice of life writing.

But, I argue, that's not writing, that's not work, that's NOT TALENT!  I'm a fiction writer who has fun yakking about silly things that happen to me.

My mother is crazy, right?

And then others started to say the same thing.  So much so, in fact, that I'm starting to wonder if I should abandon fiction, at least for now, and look into publishing my goofy life instead.  Over the years I've sort of titled collections of stories, "Stretchmarks are just the Beginning"  (Stories about my pregnancies, birthings, and raising small kids)  "Growing up in the house of Danny and Donna Dull" (My childhood stories)  "Stalking Rick Springfield and other Habits of the Middle Aged Suburban woman."  (I think that's self explanatory.)  "Confessions of a Crazed Candle Lady"  (Stories from my years of selling Party lite Candles.)

But other than fun titles, I ask myself, is there any substance there?  I know people will read fiction because everyone loves a good story.  And a talented writer tells a good story.  But is this a talent, these snippets of humor from my completely normal life?

Some say so.  I'd be interested in what you all think.  Take a look at It Can Only Happen to Sarah  Read a couple posts.  Do you agree with my mom?

And if you do, turn that question to yourself and your writing career.  Does your writing talent lie in a genre other than the one you're working on?  Sure, everyone wants to write that legal thriller, or the literary novel that Oprah loves.  But maybe your talent leans more toward the historical romance that steams up beach readers.  Maybe you should stop working on a cook book and finish that epic humor novel  (I put that in there for a certain friend of mine...he knows who he is!)  Or, maybe you're destined to write the cook book that outshines all others.

Open up your writing to others.  See what they say.  Sometimes others see talents in you that you don't see yourself.