Time to share!

Good afternoon!

This is a general invitation to all you authors, writers, poets, readers, and people who like to express your opinion.

I'm opening this blog up to you!

While I'm busy trying to crank out the second and third Elsie books AND a new novel before next June 1  (yeah, I said that)  I want to give you all a chance to share some opinions, news, ideas, and questions in this blog.

Are you an author who has a new book out?

Are you a writer who wants to open a discussion about e-pub versus traditional publishing?

Are you a poet who'd like to serenade us with something pretty?

Are you a reader who has yet to find the book that perfectly speaks to you?


Contact me!

You can reach me at momauthor@aol.com 

You can also message me on Face Book by clicking HERE!

I can't wait to hear from you all! 

Meanwhile, if you're a reader in search of something romantic, check out my novels:  CLICK HERE!


Hate your job?  Want to read about someone who hates hers more?  CLICK HERE!

ELSIE W IS FREE THIS WEEKEND!

Hey all!

Well, call me a sucker, but I'm trying it again!

This weekend, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, my newest book, "Not While I'm Chewing!" will be FREE to Kindle users!

All I ask of you, my faithful readers, is that when you read the book and you love the book you please WRITE A REVIEW of the book!  (if you didn't like it, just remember it was FREE and you don't have to be mean!  LOL!)

CLICK HERE  to order the book via Kindle.  And, if you want a print copy of the book, you can use that link as well.

I'm FREE!  But only for this weekend!

Why we NEED our "Happily Ever After."

Good evening all!

 

I know it's been a while.  I've been putting the final touches on the second Elsie W. book, "It's Elsie's World, we're just here to clean it."  That will be released, hopefully, quite soon.  Meanwhile you can purchase the FIRST Elsie W. book here.

 

No one is going to be surprised when I say there seem to be a lot of depressed people running around these days.  Between unemployment, gas prices, the health care debacle (and no matter what side you look at it from, the thing is a debacle), the shrinking middle class, crushing personal debt, foreclosures, the ridiculously rising cost of education, and the fact that we now have a human person walking around this planet named NORTH WEST, there are plenty of reasons for a normal person to be depressed. 

 

Studies over the last few years have shown us we are getting fatter, drunker, less informed, and way less intelligent all around.  Not sure you believe me?  Take a look at what we are watching on TV these days.  The biggest names on TV are an overweight red neck family that farts at each other when not going to children's beauty pageants(Honey Boo-boo), or a bearded redneck family who make duck calls really well, but seem to be confused by the rest of life in general. (Duck Dynasty) Well written comedies and dramas are replaced by "reality programming."  Hey, we can't focus on a scripted TV series, but we can watch C-list celebs dance/cook/dive/date/swap wives/pretend to do your crappy job/find interesting things about their family trees.

 

Hey, I'm not knocking it.  I'm sitting on the couch with ya, watching the nonsense and laughing about it.  Because, see, comedies aren't that funny anymore (I mean, how funny can 8000 jokes about sex and drugs be in one night of "comedy?") and dramas don't make us laugh.  And lordy, we need to laugh.

 

We have, hanging in our hall, one of those multi photo frames.  In each spot is a shot of a wedding party, friends or family, all taken around the same time, roughly 20 years ago.  (Hey, those things are TOUGH to change out.)  As I look at that photo frame, and all the pictures of all the weddings, I realized that more than half the couples in that picture have split up, some long ago, some very recently.  Of those that have stayed together, I see histories of tears, upheaval, and long nights of prayerful, sorrowful pacing.

 

In short, this is a harsh, hard world we live in, and it's especially hard, it seems, for love to last forever.

 

Book sales are down, across the board, in all genres, save one:  Romance.  For some reason, and some will say it's because women buy far more books than men, romance novels have increased in sales by leaps and bounds.

 

It's no secret, to those of us who read and write romance and romantic stories.  It has nothing to do with the price of the book, or who's reading the book or if vampires are a hot commodity.

 

It's the happy ending.

 

I've read several books on Oprah's book list and I can tell you...they made me want to poke my eyes out, they were so depressing.  The covers are sad, the stories are sad, the people in the books are sad.

 

Forget Oprah.  What people want is a happy ending!  What people NEED is a happy ending!

 

We don't need yet another book about delving into the darkness of the human condition...unless there's a good looking hero and a happy freaking ending because guess what:  our jobs, if we have one, sucks.  Our kids are a mess, We're probably on some sort of mood enhancing meds, and movies cost more to go seen them on the big screen than they do to own, so we have to wait three months for that "feel good" hit of the summer to come out on video...and it will probably suck because the vast majority of what Hollywood is cranking out these days is crap.

 

We. Need.  A. Happy. Ending.

Forget the huge hair...this is a huge song!

 

 

Bonnie Tyler sang it best: 

 

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the Gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need

I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero
'Til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

 

So my friends, don't be ashamed anymore!  Pull that romance novel out from the covers of "Les Miserables"  (You told the kids you were going to read "Les Miserables" this summer, didn't you?  It took me two years.  The musical is just over two hours long and pretty much gets the point across.)  Admit to your fellow readers that yes, you read romance, because your life is tough and you need a happy ending!  You need to know that there is such a thing as HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

 

And if you'd like to read my "happily ever after" novels, CLICK HERE!

Sneak peak SATURDAY! "Not While I'm Chewing."

Good morning!

Many of you know...or should know...that I recently released the first Elsie W. book entitled "Not While I'm Chewing." 

I thought I'd make your Saturday a bit brighter by sharing a small snippet.

Remember, you can purchase the entire book in print or Kindle form by clicking HERE! 

If you have a Nook or some other digital reading device, you can purchase this book by clicking HERE!

Meanwhile:  Enjoy!

 

 

It didn’t take me long at Stuff, Installed to figure out that I had some vital, and specialized skills that few had. Who knew having these skills would be so important?

          First of all, I can read and translate a paycheck.

         When I got my first paycheck from Stuff, Installed, I was pretty jazzed as I read through hourly pay, overtime pay, deductions, totals, all that good stuff. I like reading and studying my paychecks. We’d just changed payroll services and the checks were really easy and almost fun to read.

          Meanwhile...at the desk next to mine:

          "WHAT? This isn't right! This. Is. Not. RIGHT!"

          “What's not right?” (Why do I get involved?)

          "My deductions. Who can live on this if this is how much they're deducting?” (Truly, a question we all ask.)

          I didn't get very involved past that for about five minutes. Then ELSIE W. stopped NBM (this only causes more hilarity. Read on.)

          ELSIE:  I need to talk to you about my paycheck. (She waves the tatters of the check, which is one of those that's held together by perforations and you're supposed to fold along the lines and THEN tear the ends off. She sort of forgot to fold on the lines.)

         NBM:  What did you do to your paycheck?

        ELSIE:  Nothing. I mean, I couldn't open it, so I just tore at it.

        NBM:  I hope you haven't voided it by tearing it almost in half.

       ELSIE:  WHAT? You can do that?

       (I should interject here that NBM, I believe, LOVES to needle Elsie. LOVES IT. Sort of like a nine year old boy poking at a dead animal. For him, it's fun, it's easy, and it provides amusement in an otherwise boring day. I'm just guessing, given how often he does it.)

          NBM:  Yep, you can. So what's wrong with your paycheck, other than the fact that it's torn?

          ELSIE:  It's not right. How am I supposed to live on this?

         His cell phone rang and that took NBM out of the conversation. I don't like watching the wounded, so I rolled my chair over to her desk.

        SARAH: What is the problem?

          ELSIE:  It's not right. They took twelve hundred dollars in taxes out of my check.

         (Let me just say, if they took twelve hundred out of one of her paychecks, I'm thinking I'm being WAY underpaid!)

        "Let me just look at it.” I looked at it and realize instantly what the issue was. "The twelve hundred dollars is your gross pay to date. The amount of taxes taken out is right here.” I pointed to the column.

          Elsie frowned. “It's too much taken out. How am I supposed to live on this if they're going to take that much out in taxes?”

         "I ask myself that all the time. But see, these are the hours you worked. This is your hourly wage. You multiply this by this and you get this number here."

“I don't know. I don't think you're right.”

          (I guess I should have known I was in trouble. She asked me the other day to figure out, with the calculator on my desk, what twenty percent of one thousand was. Her calculator kept telling her two hundred, but she just knew that wasn't right.)

            "It's right. The total on your check is the total after they take out taxes. That's the amount of money you have."

            She was quiet then...but that didn't end the issue. Later in the day, after everyone else had gone home for the night, she called the home office...and got very upset when they were closed. (They are in the Eastern Time Zone. We are in the Central Time Zone.)

                   She saved up her frustration until she got to work the next morning at 11:07. “How come they weren’t open at six? I’m all alone in the world, and can I tell you something? They just weren’t taking my calls because they are trying to keep me down.”

                   I would explain time zones to her, but…no. They aren’t paying me less than they pay her to explain that sort of thing.

Stuff I think about when I should be writing...

Happy Fourth of July all Americans!

It's the one day everyone, whatever political party, whatever race, creed, color, whatever you are, we can all get along and feel good about life here in this country. It's the one day we don't fight, we don't argue.  Instead, we try and catch candy at parades, drink beer, serve grilled food on red white and blue plates and spend the night watching the city we live in blow up stuff made in China.  I love the 4th of July.  It's pretty much what being an American is about:  spending time outside, drinking, eating grilled everything, making a lot of noise, cheering for random things, singing "God Bless America" because no one normal can actually sing the National Anthem and not hurt themselves.

It's just one of the many things I think about as I'm trying to now crank out the second Elsie Book.  The thing about writing when writing isn't your full time job is that a lot of other thoughts creep into your brain when you are writing.

20 plus people in their family...I still
wash more clothes than they do.  I just
know it!

Is the laundry done?  (How many loads to the Duggers do?  I know I do more loads of laundry per month than they do.)

Is the bathroom clean?  Do I care?

Did I pay the house payment this month?  Phone bill?  Cable bill?

I wonder where the kids are.  Am I a bad mother because I don't know where my 16 year old daughter is at this exact second?

What page am I on in this book?

Those of you who write and are trying to launch a career as an author, you know what I'm talking about. Being a creative person in a very non-creative world bites. 

I just read an article the other day about how people in certain jobs making less money, but they are happier with what they are doing.  Typically those in the creative arts don't have the income at those in business or in some form of non-creative job.  But they are happy.

Last week I spent Saturday putting my first Elsie book together.  It was truly the best day I'd had in a long time.  Every minute I spend at the computer writing, blogging, creating my own literary world is a happy minute.  Every minute I spend away from it is not.

But writing, for me, doesn't pay the bills yet.  It will, someday, I believe.  But for now I have some staggering bills I need to pay and those aren't going to go away just because I've found my bliss.

People asked me when I was young what I wanted to be.  I always had an answer.  I wanted to be a librarian, a paramedic, a rock star, a jockey, a world class gymnast, a horse breeder.  (All of these things my mother

informed me would never, ever be my lot in life.  Seriously, who tells a ten year old she's too fat to be a jockey?  Who tells an 8th grader being a librarian isn't a job, or being a paramedic would be impossible since I, as an 8th grader, don't know what to do if I see some one's brains on the grass.  I guess they would have taught me what to do, you know, in paramedic training, but since I didn't know what to do when I was 13, I gave up that dream.)  The one thing, though, I knew from the time I was in second grade was that I wanted to write.  I wanted to tell stories.

I think most of us creative types know what we want to be when we grow up.  But making what we want to be into a job that will support us is daunting, sometimes scary.

Thinking about these things takes up a lot of time.  It's a big reason why that second Elsie book isn't completed...

BTW, for those of you who must have your books in print, Elsie W. book #1 is now available!
Click here to purchase!

Click here to purchase for your Nook or other reading devices.

"Not While I'm Chewing!" is now AVAILABLE!

Good morning all!

After a really solid day of edits and wrestling with uploads, I can now

announce: 
"Not While I'm Chewing." Is now available to Kindle users on Amazon!

Yes, it's under my other name, Sarah Jayne Brewster.  Can you blame me for not using my actual name?  Ironic, that the stuff with swearing and sex I publish under my real name and the stuff that's just funny office stuff I have to use a pseudonym.

CLICK HERE to purchase!

Print format readers, you have another 24 hours to wait.  Those of you who use Nook and other reading devices, it's going to be a little bit of a wait.

But Kindle users can click here right now to purchase "Not While I'm Chewing."