Finally feeling the pain can make you a better writer.

Good evening!

Some of you know that a couple months back I was in a very serious car accident.  My car was destroyed.  I, thankfully, am not dead.  Since then I've been through a series of doctor's appointments, physical therapy appointments, and an MRI  where I learned the answer to the question "How claustrophobic am I?"  is "I AM SUPER CLAUSTROPHOBIC."

In the nearly 10 weeks since the accident I've been battling myself because by everyone's time table I should be back to my old self.  I should be driving like I always have, I should be performing at work like I always have, and I shouldn't have any pain.  After all, it's been ten weeks.  Get over it!

But there has been pain, and lots of it.  I've tried to push it down, to hide it, to move it away from myself. I've tried telling myself it's not real, it's all in my head, I'm being a baby. 

But the pain is very real, and it's with me every day.  And today, I got some preliminary MRI results that would be scary for most people, but for me it gives me a word for what I'm feeling, and that actually helps a little.  Knowing that the injury is real, that it has a name, that I'm not walking around like a whiny child, but that what is happening to my body is legitimate is a big deal.  I now am able to feel the pain as it is, and to deal with it in a healthy way.

Why am I telling you this?

Two things come to mind every time I have problems writing a scene, getting my characters to emote properly.  The first is a T-shirt that pops up when I window shop over at Cafe Press.  The shirt says, "No tears in the author, no tears on the page."

Simply put, if we as authors don't feel what our characters are supposed to feel, then how can our characters possibly convey that feeling to the reader?

Maybe that wasn't so simply put.

The other thing that comes to mind is an article I read eons ago about how central air conditioning was ruining the Great American Novel.  That might sound weird, but the writer of the article talked about how Falkner, Cather, Hemingway all wrote about real human emotions on a real human level, and they were successful in conveying things like how everyone is just a tiny bit insane, in part because they were possibly driven mad by the heat and humidity in the American South, especially in the summers. 

I've been thinking about these two things a lot because "Fresh Ice" is coming out in November, Lord Willing, and there's a ton of emotions, most of them dark, in all the characters.  I've never been betrayed by my husband, but my main character has.  I've never been blackmailed, but my hero has.  Somehow I have to manage to bring those feelings to the surface, and how can I when I've spent the last ten weeks pushing away my own feelings?

We live in a medicated society.  Are you sad?  Take a pill.  Are you achy?  Take a pill.  Are you on the verge of killing your first born because you have that super high powered PMS and if the kid doesn't stop whining about every little thing you're going to though a wad of peanut butter at him?  Take a pill.  Between that and central air conditioning, have we lost the ability to feel?  Well, Poe medicated plenty, and his poems and stories are riddled with pain...so maybe it's just the central air thing.

I'm not suggesting we give up central air.  Nope, I'm not ready to be that insane.  I'm also not suggesting we give up medicating when we need to be medicated. 

But if we feel pain, maybe, as authors, we need to face it, embrace it, deal with it, and put it on the page.

I know it's a new focus for me as I move in small steps toward some sort of recovery.

Now...go forth and write!

I can only remove so much clothing, but you can always put on a sweater!

Good Friday afternoon!

So it's summer again in Wisconsin. I know this not by the fact that it was 40 and raining on Wednesday, because it does that a lot here in the Great Lakes region, but because two days later it's trying to hit 85 and HUMID!

Yes, less than 48 hours from wearing two sweatshirts and wishing hubby would kick on the furnace, I'm stripped down to the least amount of clothes a girl my size and age should wear.

The worst part, and this is a problem a lot of people have, is that I share and office with someone who is always, always, ALWAYS cold. I hold off turning on the AC as long as humanly possible on the days New Girl is here because I don't like making her miserable. And, she doesn't really complain in the winter when we NEVER turn on the heat because even in the dead of winter, the heat that radiates from other suites in this building keeps our little office at a comfortable 70 degrees.

But it's almost 85 out there, the sun is beating in my window, and it's dripping humidity. (Did I mention that it was 40 some 36 hours ago? And that was the daytime high!)

We all run across that person in our life who isn't temperature compatible with us. Maybe it's a spouse, (in which case, you're doomed), a friend, or a coworker. There's always someone who is melting hot in the dead of winter, (like me) or someone who is shivering in 80 degree weather (that would be my mother.) Unless you work and live in a complete bubble, you're going to run into this issue.

I'm going to solve it for you.

If you're cold: PUT ON A SWEATER. Even if you're not cold in your own home, if you know you're going someplace you know is cold, instead of whining about it, put on a sweater. (My friend Linda is always cold...she never goes anyplace in the summer without a sweater.)

See, for all you "coldies" you solution is simple. Throw on another layer. Throw on two if you must.

It's a little harder for those of us who are always hot. (I can't call myself a "hottie." Just can't do it!) See, we can only remove so much clothing. We can't actually slice away our protective layer of fat (And yes, Bossman has suggested I lose that weight so I wouldn't be hot all the time. Hey, I haven't always been heavy. But I've always been very warm.) and sometimes extra padding isn't always the reason. Some people are just hotter than others. (Rick Springfield comes to mind! LOL!)

So the battle of the thermostat will wage on, but you "Coldies" need to take it easy on us. Just because we like to have the AC on in the summer does not make us the reason oil prices go up. (Bossman informed me two summers ago that I was the reason crude was $90 a barrel, because I turned on the AC twice in the same week in July. Let's just ignore the fact that the heating bill in his THREE houses during the winter months is nearly equal to the GNP of New Zealand. I'm the reason oil is expensive.)

The alternative is we walk around naked. And no one wants that!